So delicious, I guarantee you WON'T be projectile-vomiting at some buttinski priest!
This one's incredibly easy, though I should warn you that it is time-consuming, taking roughly five hours from start-to-finish. So, with that knowledge in mind, let's get started!
INGREDIENTS:
2 pounds smoked ham hocks
48 ounces chicken stock
Water
1 large onion, diced
2 bay leaves
black pepper, to taste
4 packets Goya ham-flavored concentrate
1.5 pounds dried split peas (green or yellow, though I favor yellow)
1 7-ounce Boar's Head ham steak, diced small
1 half-pint heavy whipping cream
Add ham hocks, diced onion, and bay leaves to a large soup pot. Add chicken stock and enough water to bring the level of liquid to about three or four inches below the pot's rim. Stir to blend the ingredients and bring to a boil. Add black pepper and ham-flavored concentrate, stir. Reduce to very low heat, cover and simmer until the ham hocks become soft and can be pushed apart with a wooden spoon. That takes around three hours, and remember to stir occasionally.
NOTE: Smoked ham hocks are pretty much petrified when you get them, so rendering them down to a usable softness is the truly time-consuming part of this recipe. And when you get to the part where you remove the bones and excess crud, don't be surprised by how little actual meat you get. The ham hocks are important for the fat content and the smoky flavor. The meat will come later.
Once the ham hocks are soft, turn off the pot and remove the hocks and any stray bits from them that has come loose, placing them into a frying pan. Allow the hocks to cool enough for you to use a spoon and your fingers to pry apart and remove the bones, skin, gristle, and tendons. Once removed, you can chuck that stuff, and what should be left is ham meat and usable fat. Drain any run-off broth back into the pot, along with the meat and however much of the remaining fat you choose to use. (Remember, fat adds flavor.) Once everything is in the pot, bring to a boil again and stir. Any stray bits of skin that you may have missed will bubble to the top, so remove it with a slotted spoon or strainer. Once the broth has been skimmed. turn off the pot again and remove from heat. Bust out your handy hand-mixer and give the base a decent smoothing. The meat and fat will be whipped into the base and it should all come out as smooth as possible. (During this process it's likely that you'll encounter a few small shards of bone, which you will feel and hear when they come into contact with the mixer's blades. When finding those bones, remove the mixer and go through the base with a slotted spoon or strainer and get rid of the bone shards. When the shards are out, use the mixer again for one final smoothing before moving on to the next step.)
Once the aforementioned stuff has been removed and disposed of, you will notice that the amount of liquid has reduced considerably and the onions have softened and been smoothed into the liquid by your mixer. Now add the diced ham and the split peas, then add enough water to restore the level you had just as you were ready to begin the first boil. Bring the pot to a boil again and once more drop the heat to very low, and stir. Cover, but occasionally stir and check to see the consistency of the peas as they go from petrified to soft. By the time the peas are mushy, which should take around two hours, stir again and keep stirring until all of the liquid is relatively smooth. (Unless you choose to remove the ham and hit the liquid with the mixer again, but I advise against that because it's a needless hassle. Some of the texture of the peas remaining is fine.) While still allowing the liquid to simmer, pour in the cream and give the whole shebang another good stir. Turn off the pot and remove from heat. The diced ham should be falling apart, and you may notice that the ham-flavored concentrate has granted the soup a somewhat-salty edge. That's okay; that edge with mellow once you've allowed the soup to cool and sit in the fridge overnight.
The finished pot should yield enough soup to fill two 8-cup Glad or Ziploc deep dish containers, with the level of the soup leaving enough space between the lid and the soup to avoid spill-over when sealed. And though the soup may seem kind of liquidy, after sitting overnight in the cold fridge, it will congeal into a semi-solid that will be smooth and rich when heated. And allowing it to find its flavor overnight is the key to what makes this soup a knockout, so plan on serving it the day after you've finished making it.
The finished excellence.
