BARATHEON'S BITCHIN' BOWL of BROWN

The manly awesomeness that was King Robert Baratheon.

If you, like Yours Truly, are a fan of GAME OF THRONES, you no doubt know who Robert Baratheon was. He was the king of Westeros, a position he claimed after leading a successful revolt that overthrew the previously-reigning Targaryen dynasty, and from the second he settled into his new all-powerful role, he devoted his attention to two things: whoring and gluttony. Thus, it is in his honor that I name this dish "Baratheon's Bitchin' Bowl of Brown." (NOTE: In George R.R. Martin's source novels, the A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE series, the assorted stews that are mentioned, fare usually found in seedy taverns and inns, are known as "a bowl of brown," for its color and regardless of its questionable "meat" content.) So, let's get started!

Fresh stag meat, provided by Francesca, my favorite huntress. (Yes, she shot this bad boy herself, and used what she killed, which is the honorable way.)

Ingredients:

• Venison (I used two pounds)
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 Maggi beef bullion cubes
• 1 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes
• Four cloves of smashed garlic
• 1 large onion, diced
• 10 oz frozen peas
• 10 oz frozen sweet corn
• Ten baby potatoes, diced
• Black pepper to taste (optional)
• 1 pint Guinness Stout
• 1 jot of Gravy Master for color

First, dredge the cubed meat in flour, brown in hot oil, set aside.

Next, get a large pot and add two Maggi beef bullion cubes, a 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes, four smashed cloves of fresh garlic, one diced large onion, 2 bay leaves, 10 oz of frozen peas, 10 oz of frozen sweet corn, the bone (if you had to carve the meat from a bone), and some diced baby potatoes. 

After that, add the meat. (Also scrape the meat pan's leavings into the pot for a subtle roux.)

Then add 48 oz of beef stock/broth, and top that off with a full pint of Guinness stout. (Black pepper is also welcome but optional.) Add a dash of Gravy Master for color, then stir.

Bring to a boil, cover, and simmer over very low heat, stirring occasionally, until the meat reaches desired tenderness. (I do mine for around four hours.) 

When done, allow to cool and place in refrigerator overnight. The next day it will have found its flavor and it will blow you away.

A finished bowl of brown, after the stew was allowed to find its flavor overnight in the fridge.

MY FAMOUS GRAVY-SIMMERED PORK CHOPS

So good that even Zhu Ba Jie himself would gladly devour them! (Which would amount to cannibalism in his case.)

These were a favorite of my old friend and roommate, Cat Panavan, during our days on NYC's Upper West Side.

Dredge your chops in flour that's seasoned as you like (I keep it simple with salt and pepper), brown on each side in cooking pan with oil of choice. 

Add smashed garlic cloves (however much you like), chopped onions, and chicken stock (or water). Once everything comes to a boil, sprinkle with a bit of flour to start the gravy, then cover. 

Set flame to low and occasionally check to maintain the level of liquid that you want so you have enough gravy at the end, and cook until the meat is fork-tender. (You should not require a knife at the end.) Also, don't forget to occasionally swish the chops around in the pan to prevent them sticking in the gravy. Oh, and don't forget to flip them at some point while adding more chicken stock to maintain the level of gravy you want at the end. The cooking process will cause some of the stock to reduce, so keep an eye on it.

The version with water and without the onions.

The end result.

When done, remove from heat and let sit covered for at least another ten minutes before plating. Serve with rice or hearty noodles and don't forget to slather everything with the gravy!