Allan in his natural environment. (photoplasty by Jared)
Traditionally served on Mondays, this amazing dish was imparted to me by the one and only Allan Conner, a superb and kind sage who's the father of one of my dearest friends and is also a Louisiana native. He first told me of his formula for it during a discussion of our enjoyment of the red beans & rice side dish served at Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits locations, noting that he grew up making it from scratch and that it could not be easier. I took notes on the basics of the formula — he simply gave me the ingredients and a couple of pointers, taking into account that I already know my way around a kitchen; I appreciated that — and made a batch based strictly on his instructions. It was delicious, but I swapped out the Tasso ham (which is kind of difficult to find where I live) for Andouille sausages and substituted Goya ham-flavored seasoning for any required salt. Then, following my usual method when learning to make a dish from memory, I made two more batches over the next two weeks, refining my technique and memorizing the procedure to the point where I can now practically do it in my sleep. Allan told me in no uncertain terms that making this is easy, and after knowing the man for close to forty years, he once again proved to me that he's a man whose advice is to be accepted without hesitation. Anyway, that's the preamble, so let's get down to business:
INGREDIENTS
1 pound pinto/kidney beans (soaked overnight)
1 bunch of celery (finely chopped)
1 green bell pepper (finely chopped)
1 large onion (finely chopped)
Cloves of smashed garlic (to taste; I use 5 or 6)
2 foot-long smoked Andouille sausages (finely chopped; Allan's version calls for Tasso ham, so use that if you have it available)
2 smoked ham hocks
Goya ham-flavored seasoning packets (to taste; I recommend starting with 2, seeing how that works for you, and adjusting from there)
48 ounces of chicken stock
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper (that amount is the recommended starter dose; adjust to taste)
Black pepper (to taste)
Bay leaves (2 or 3)
Dry thyme
Water (have 2 quarts on hand, to even out the level of liquid during cooking)
Ready to rock.
PROCEDURE
First of all, make sure you have soaked your beans overnight and chopped all of your Andouille sausage and vegetables. Then take a large soup pot and add either oil or bacon grease — I favor bacon grease for flavor reasons — in an amount that will allow you to simmer the Andouille until its flavor has melded with the oil/grease.
Simmer and stir the sausage for about five minutes, after which you will add all of the vegetables and cook them until they soften and get translucent. (Standard "holy trinity" procedure.)
Then we add our drained beans to the pot, along with the ham hocks and chicken stock. Add enough water to cover the ham hocks, then add the seasonings to taste. Stir, and bring the pot to a boil. Lower the heat to a very low simmer and skim off any foam generated from the beans.
This lovely mess will simmer slowly and must be periodically stirred until the ham hocks soften and fall apart, so we're talking around four hours, but I give it an extra hour, just to let the hocks really infuse into the beans. (Remember to taste, so you can gauge whether or not you need to adjust the seasonings.) And roughly halfway through the simmering, the beans should be soft enough for you to scoop out about a cup of them, mash them up, and return them to the pot, stirring to blend them back into the glorious simmering mess. That will serve to aid the thickening process as the vegetables melt, as well as upping the "beany" flavor.
About halfway through, with mashed beans blended into the glorious mess.
When all is said and done, your vegetables will have totally melted into the bean/pork amalgam, resulting in this shameless monument to utter deliciousness:
"This is so effin' delicious, I want to beget offspring with it!" — Jehovah
Give everything a final stir, making sure the ham hocks have fallen apart and been blended into the main mass. Allow to cool, then transfer into containers and seal. Stash in the fridge to allow the sexy mess to find its flavor overnight, and then serve when you want to. It can be served over rice, as is traditional, but I like it on its own. It's very filling, and a very small bowl will fuel an individual for a good while.
Further proof that Sir Mix-a-Lot spoke truth.
